the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The power to never be cold, but only when it is above 80 degrees.

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The power to walk 1% faster.

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The ability to change the color of your socks while wearing shoes

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the ability to hold your breath for ever while being on land

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The power to climb up fallen trees

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Having taste buds in your anus.

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the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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the passive ability to teleport to the center of the world every tenth of a second

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The power drown in water

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power of tasting irresistibly delishush whenever anyone gets hungry.

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The power to walk on water, but only if its temperature is below 0° C

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Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

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the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

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Liam Brudenell

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the power to hear and understand all living things within 100 meters but they cant understand you and you can never turn it off.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!