To turn instantly water proof while eating a burito

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The power to run at 0.5mph

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The power to have useless superpowers which can only be used at wrong times

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The power to smell people's moods

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making a sentence of pointless superpowers on pointlesssuperpower.com.

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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the power to give yourself cancer that you can't get rid of

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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the power to make a super smelly fart every time you eat 40 cotton balls

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lol

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The power to be doing something else then typing a pointless power

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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To be able to bend glass at will but if any of the glass breaks you break with it

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The power to see 3-D movies in 2-D.

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To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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the power to fly, but only when you poop

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The power to breath Oxygen

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the power to be able to foresee your death within a millisecond of it happening

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The power to taste food 3 seconds before they eat it.

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to be shitty

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!