The power to be Chuck Norris's bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to have hindsight.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to think of your death and then you die.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

the power to crap out bite-sized super heroes.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

the power to become translucent

thumb_up thumb_down +44

the power to make a super smelly fart every time you eat 40 cotton balls

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The power to know you don't have a superpower

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The ability to be born, live for about 75 years and then die.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The ability to get shot, for real.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to know the name of every show while the title card is in front of you but only if you are holding cheap mango chutney

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to enter a car, but only if the car is out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to cure cancer, in people already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to volunteer as tribute.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!