The power to walk through air.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The ability to hear fish.

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The power to eat junk food at light speed

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power to attract any women you like by ripping of your junk.

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The power to fly 3 inches.

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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the ability bend your legs in a perfect circle

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The ability to keep a song stuck in your head overnight

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I am derpin the erp to derp the derp the erp o o o o yeah derp frika frika frika derp derp derp

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The power to turn random things that you touch into water, like in a schick hydro commercial

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to jump face first

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The ability to do moderately well on an exam while sharting next to your crush.

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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the power to fail at life

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The power to gain 10 pounds whenever you eat something

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!