The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to shit your pants uncontrollably when your mom calls your name

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Super strength, but the only thing it affects is feathers.

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The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.

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The power to make only slightly funny jokes

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The ability to read minds, but it can only be your own.

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The power to do get 100% in a christian studies exam, but fail everything else.

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The power to think of epic jokes but only at funerals

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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Ability to shape-shift into your twin brother.

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the power to kill plants in a desert.

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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The superpower to read a 2 pages of a book at once. Never mind... This is the BEST superpower in the world! [Insert troll face here]

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the power to eat anything edible but not if it's edible.

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The power to sleep while you're awake.

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The power to make a Stegosaurus appear when you make a time-machine!

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The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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The Power to fart glitter

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The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

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Stop clapping

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The power to change the temperature by 1 degree, once every leap year.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!