the power to fail at life

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The ability to guess the reCAPTCHA words first try

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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boo

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the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

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the power to jerk off

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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the ability to make toast while standing on your head at 12:46 every Tuesday Greenwich Meridian Time.

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ability to run very fast without stopping forever

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The power to have the aim of Torres

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The power to heal yourself once every hundred years.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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the power to have a combination lock, and forget the code

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The power to run as fast as a snail.

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The power to take any object you are holding and swap it with anything within thirty feet

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the power to make food shrimp.

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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The power of 3 seond super strength,

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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The power to have tastebuds inside your ass.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!