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The power to never be tired, but only when rowing a boat.

The power to smell poop

Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

The ability to fart, hiccup, vomit, crap, burp, laugh, cry, scream and sneeze all at the same time

The power to finish anyone's sentience.

The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

to have the power to dig a hole 2 milimeters deep in a century

The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

The power to eat junk food at light speed

The power to take edible shits.

the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

The power to read 20 pages of pointless superpowers, but only during science class

The ability to read braile.

The power to plank

The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

The power to buy the newest iPhone without the charger...

The power to fly but only when your feet are on the ground

The power to type some incredibly perverted "superpowers" and get a boner while laughing so loud the neighbors on both sides of your apartment closed their windows.

The power to make yourself deaf.

The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

The power to revive Hitler.

Pointless Super Powers