The power to blink a nano second slower

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The ability to de-carbonate soda

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The power to fart get a 10 inch but only at your moms house

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The power to count exactly how many babies under the age of three weeks existed in the last 14 seconds.

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The ability to peel potatoes with your mind.

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The power to see in darkness when you're asleep.

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the power to randomly sprout a paper clip once a month

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifed blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents cars busses planes vehicles trucks lightning electricity meteors bombs rockets drugs addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys any sort of animal heat radio active waves radiation humans air pollution baseball bats food poisoning and insects.

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The power to only be able to breath when you have absorbed the soul of a mythical dragon.

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The power to have the world's biggest cumshots, but to have a numb penis.

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The powers to blink at the speed of light

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To be able to summon old people

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the power to hover 1 atom above the ground

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The power to watch womens basketball

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The power to make everyone yawn in the room when you yawn.

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The power to shape shift into water

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The ability to only fart in public

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The power to be able to be a guy who can create and control fire but if it touches you, you still burn

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Wait this isn't pornhub!?

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the power to pee and sneeze at the same time.

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The ability to type without having to use the shift key.

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The power to stay a virgin

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to have udders for nipples.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!