The power to wipe ur ass without the need of toilet paper

The power to grow fingernails.

The power to teleport, but you will be just as tired as if you had walked there and it would take the same amount of time to get there.

The power to produce 5 times the normal amount of ball sweat.

The power to age 2% faster every time you see the color purple.

The power to shape-shift, but only into: Rebecca Black, Justin Bieber, or Hannah Montana.

Ladder hands.

My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

The power to fall up.

The power to read the minds of chickens every other Tuesday.

The power to have no power.

The power to see extremely far, and to see trough everything except yourself. Congrats you are stuck with seeing your own ass wherever you go for the rest of your life. Yeh i am moral man whatevs...

The power to control every extinct species but to be unable to revive them

The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

The power to hesitate when seeing naked girl.

The ablity to slap a policeman and get away with it.

the power to make things out of thin air that dont work.

the ability to know what the fox say

the power to blind and nausiat yourself for 12 hours straight with no way to stop it ohh and the power the eat hairy dicks

the ability to slightly change your facial expression. sometimes.

The power to not lie wall you activate"I Agree To TheTerms Of Sevice"

The power to spend more than £10 at a starbucks

The power to never stop shitting.

The ability to teleport anywhere in the world on the first Monday of February at 4:00 am

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!