The power to read people's minds, but only in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried

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The ability to turn into Jeff the Magic Cactus Baby, for a second, while you are sleeping.

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When walking down the street, i try to get to a crack in the pavement a few feet ahead of me, and step on it before the next car passes me on the road

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The power to have every type of phobia in existence.

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The power to make dogs quit sniffing you.

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The power to kick ass and chew bubblegum but be all out of kicks. "sits down chews bubblegum"

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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Power to vomit violently during royal weddings.

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The power to shit rainbows but have incredible pain while shitting them.

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The power to have morning sickness in the evening.

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the power to save Chinese people... who needs um?

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The power to close your eyes and drift off to a state of unconsciousness.

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The power of eating from ears.

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The power to shed hair

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The power to automatically uncensor anything you want.

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Reverse Pooping

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The power to become real life Captain Arabian. Example: Hey nice suit, does the A on your forehead stand for America? ALALALALALALALAH! *BOOOOOOM* Moral: Next time you see someone that looks like Captain America, you better run.

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The power to never drop something, as long as it is touching the ground. - JC

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The power to think of a witty comeback 3 days too late.

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the power to stop time for everything... including yourself

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the power to be invisible, but only at night

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the power to make people's spleen hurt for no reason

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The power to only drink liquids

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!